Rabbi Deborah Bravo
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Don’t Wait for the Angels to Send you a Message

9/27/2016

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Reposted from My Jewish Learning Blog.

Last September, one of the kindest and loveliest of my friends and colleagues was diagnosed with an aggressive form of sinus cancer. Marcus and his husband shared their story with hundreds and hundreds of colleagues, friends and family through caringbridge.org, a wonderful website that is specifically meant for such circumstances. They occasionally posted the progress of his treatment, his health, their needs and more.

After not hearing from either of them for a while, we all received a message just over two weeks ago from Marcus’s husband Eric, sharing that Marcus has started hospice in order to better manage the pain of the cancer that has spread widely throughout his body. He shared that they hope that the time ahead will be a time of peace and gratitude, though they don’t know how long that time will be.

We were specifically told that their refrigerator remains full of food, and their voicemail boxes filled with offers of help. Then Eric requested that because their basic needs are well met, could we, their family, friends and community, possibly pick up a pen and paper and fill their mailbox with notes for Marcus that will remind him of how he has touched each of our lives? Could we please remind him that he will not be forgotten?

As I read this message nearly two weeks ago, I was shocked and sad. How could another colleague and friend, a little younger than I, be going through such a horrible illness, one that will clearly cause his death in a short time? I began to think about what to write to him, and I let it dwell in the back of my mind for 10 days. And then, I awoke two days ago having had the clearest dream I have had in years (I am not one who typically remembers my dreams). I dreamed the letter that I needed to write to Marcus, and I recalled the many special moments we had shared together over the years.

I awoke shaken by the dream and the experience. I felt as if the angels had reached out to me in the middle of the night to say: “You idiot. We sent you a direct message that it is time to share words with a friend, and you ignored it. The time is now. There won’t be that much more time. How direct do we need to be?” Needless to say, several hours later I wrote to my friend Marcus, and I shared with him the many wonderful memories I had from the past 20 years, and how he has left his mark on me and on the world.

I realize that it is the rare gift to be told, and then reminded, to share words of gratitude with the people closest to us, or even with the people not so close but who have impacted us throughout the years. As we are quickly heading into the High Holy Day Season, may we wake up and realize that we don’t usually know when the end will be near, so it is important to share our thoughts and reflections with those who matter most, and we should not wait. During the month of Elul, we are supposed to hear the blast of the shofar each and every morning, to awaken our souls and prepare us for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.

My friend Marcus is a wise, kind soul who had his whole life ahead of him, or so he thought. His husband gave us all a gift, by providing us with an opportunity not to say “goodbye”, but to say “you made a difference”, “you left your mark”, “thank you”.  As we quickly approach the High Holy Days, let us reach out to our friends, family, colleagues and neighbors and share with them how they have made a difference in our lives, how they have left their mark, and hopefully, we will have many more years to continue to share these words of gratitude and admiration.

Shanah Tovah,
Rabbi Deborah Bravo

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18 Years in the Rabbinate - 18 Lessons Learned

8/2/2016

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I love being a rabbi.  I cannot imagine doing or being anything else. I am proud of my work for the past 18 years. I am also proud that my 18th year in the rabbinate marks a significant change, as I transitioned from working in established synagogues to becoming the founder and spiritual leader of Makom NY: a new model for Jewish community on Long Island.
 
My reflections on 18 years, with my new perspective:
 
1.  Relationships truly matter. Knowing people's names, knowing who they are, learning their stories, listening to their pains and celebrating their accomplishments.
 
2. People are not looking for ‘something for nothing’. People are willing to pay for that which they feel has value.
 
3.  Pluralism is no longer a dirty word. There are many paths to explore and embrace. We need no longer be defined in such a narrow way.
 
4. Quality does make a difference. People truly do seek deep learning, impactful worship and worthy leaders.
 
5. We need to stop saying ‘no’. My ordination degree instructs me to be a ‘teacher among the Jewish community’. It is time to do just that.
 
6.  Find others who support your vision. As a ‘Rabbis Without Borders’ fellow, I have found wisdom and support from colleagues with similar visions. Just as I was beginning to feel alone in my rabbinate, I was invited to join RWB, and this community has been invaluable.
 
7. We have a lot to learn from Chabad.  Period.
 
8. What I do off the bimah is as important as what I do on it.  The one-on-one conversations, intimate dinners and small group learnings connect me to my community.
 
9. The High Holy days are no longer the main focus. Jews truly seek Jewish community 365 days of the year.
 
10. The sermon is no longer the center of a worship experience.  Worship is much bigger than just the sermon, and the sermon is no longer the only way for rabbis to share our ‘voice’.

Click HERE to continue reading the blog on My Jewish Learning. 

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The Power of the Five Daughters

7/30/2016

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This week we read from the Torah portion of Pinchas, from the Book of Numbers. I remember 18 years ago, when I was first ordained as a rabbi, this was the portion for the first sermon I gave at my first pulpit in Washington DC. It was incredibly powerful as I was the first female rabbi of that 3000-family congregation in nearly 150 years, let alone the only female clergy or senior staff member at the time.

I was struck by the power of the woman's voice in this portion.  Rarely in our Torah are we given such stories, where the women's voice is as powerful and heard. The essence of the story is that a the daughters of Zelophechad approached Moses and made the case that their father had died, leaving behind only daughters. They requested that they should receive their father's portion in the land of Israel. Moses relays their request to God, and God agrees to their request. Then Moses in instructed of the laws of inheritance.

This was an incredibly unheard of scenario in biblical times. The role of women was barely acknowledged, let alone given equal status. I remember thinking 18 years ago- how b'shert that this was the portion as I began my rabbinate, marking new paths for women rabbis, at least in my congregation. And this is stil the case today.

I imagine many of us have been glued to our tv's for the past 2 weeks, watching the RNC and then the DNC.  There are certainly many nuances to both of these conventions that are different from the past and are compelling us to stay tuned. And regardless of where one's personal politics may lie, there is no question that another glass ceiling has been broken, as a woman was, for the first time in American's 240-year history, nominated to be the candidate of a major party for President. 

One of my favorite interviews from the past two weeks was with a lovely 101-year old woman at the DNC who was born when women did not have the right to vote, and could not believe how far we have come in her life time. She was truly exhilarated by the moment in time. 

Just as in Torah, our history continues to move forward. In biblical days it seemed obvious that 5 daughters should receive their father's inheritance after his death, but no one had ever asked, and so it had never been.  In today's world, there are many examples of "firsts", particularly as it relates to women's role in society. We may think "it is 2016 - a woman can do anything she wants," but sometimes there still needs to be one who is willing to ask, to push, to try. 
 
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bravo

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​Parashat Balak – If Only….

7/22/2016

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This week we read the famous story of King Balak and the Sorcerer Balaam.  Balak just witnessed the Israelite people conquer the neighboring peoples, and he is scared. Responding out of fear, King Balak hires Balaam, a well-known non-Jewish prophet, to come and curse the Jewish people. However, God appeared to Balaam that night and told him not to curse the Israelite people, for they are blessed.  King Balak did not give up so easily.  He once again sends messengers to Balaam, offering many riches in return for curses on the Israelite people. This time, God tells Balaam he can go to the Israelites, but instead of sharing curses, only blessings come out of his mouth. 
 
I have always imagined what it would be like to live in a world where only blessings, only words of kindness or gratitude or praise, would come out of people’s mouths. If only for a year, or a month, or even a day, we could be granted this wish, so that people could realize the power of positive words, and learn the art of blessings in place of curses.
 
Of course, I say “if only” when I witness children being not so nice to other children, bullying them with words, even if not with action.  I also say “if only” when I watch people in day-to-day lives, at the grocery store or on the highway or at a restaurant, speaking negatively toward others instead of sharing words of blessing.
 
But this year, I say “if only” regarding our great American political arena. Regardless of which side of the political aisle you fall on, our political stages have become nasty. The language from all sides has been painful to hear. I truly say: if only there was a modern day Balaam who could magically cause all of our politicians to only share words of blessing, of education, of vision and of idea. Our American political system is created so there can be differing opinions, and they are to be respected. But politics should not be a rated R event, and what I wouldn’t give for a little taste of Balaam’s blessings from our great leaders of today.
 
As Balaam said to the Israelites:  "Ma Tovu - How lovely are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places O Israel."

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bravo

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To Question but Not To Rebel

7/7/2016

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This week we read the famous story of Korach. Korach led perhaps the most famous of rebellions ever, against the leader of the Israelite people, Moses. In the end, Korach is punished for this rebellion as the earth opened and swallowed him up along with all of his followers. His sons, however, who did not choose to follow their father, survived, and from them came many descendants. 

Our Jewish tradition teaches us to reflect and to question; it is an almost necessary part of Jewish study and within many Jewish rituals, including the Passover seder (the 4 Questions) and the High Holy Liturgy (asking us to reflect on our behaviors for the past year).  When we study we are taught to examine our Jewish text with a chevruta (a study partner) and to question and debate the essence of each passage. 

However, this week's Torah portion clearly teaches us that there is an important difference between questioning and rebelling. Korach wholeheartedly rebelled. He went against Moses and the entity of the Priesthood, and for that he was severely punished. Moses was not perfect as a leader, and we witnesses many of his mistakes, but when someone has attained the role of leader within a community, any community, there is a certain amount of respect and honor that must be afforded that individual. Questioning is acceptable and encouraged - outright rebellion is understood as disrespect and simply not accepted.

How often are we in situations when we want to question someone in a position of authority? That is absolutely within our right and responsibility. However, there is a way in which we are to talk to those in positions of authority. We may not agree with the how or even the why of Korach's punishment, but we can certainly understand the lesson our Torah teaches: rebelling against a respected and admired leader in a dishonorable and disrespectful way is simply not allowed.

So go forth. Question. Reflect. Ask. But remember what our Torah teaches - there is a WAY in which we must speak to those who serve as our leaders.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bravo

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​Being Blessed

6/16/2016

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This week we read from Parashat Naso, the second Torah portion in the Book of Numbers.  In this portion, we read the famous Priestly Blessing:

"Adonai will bless you and protect you!
Adonai will deal kindly with you and be gracious unto you!
Adonai will bestow favor upon you and grant you peace!" (Numbers 6:24-26)

Our world today is unpredictable and often scary. The events of this past week in Orlando cause us to both fear for our children and fear for the the kind of world in which we now live. We must concern ourselves with matters of safety, matters of equality, fairness and kindness, and the danger of guns in inappropriate hands, in inappropriate places at inappropriate times.

So we turn to our words of Torah for guidance and for meaning. This week, we are given perhaps the most simple yet powerful series of blessings. We recite this blessing when babies are born, when we celebrate with B'nai Mitzvah and Wedding Couples, and simply when we bless our children each and every Shabbat. 

In a world filled with pain and turmoil, we must seek out opportunities be grateful, and thankful - times to feel blessed. And we must bless one another, and continue to count our blessings, each and every day.

This week, I feel blessed for the gift of life.
I feel blessed to be free to act and believe as I choose.
I feel blessed to be surrounded by family and friends.
I feel blessed to be part of an incredible new community that brings blessing, warmth, kindness and wholeness to one another and to our world each and every day.

After a horrible week such as this one, we must each count our blessings,
we must each use our voices to speak out for truth and right,
and then we must once again, share in our blessings.

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Anniversary to Makom NY!
Hope to see tonight in the Park!
Rabbi Bravo


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​Counting and Being Counted

6/9/2016

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Tomorrow, we conclude our countdown from Passover to Shavuot, our yearly reflection of what it means to go from the Exodus from Egypt to Revelation on Mount Sinai. We reflect on the spirit and will of the Israelite people during these long and difficult days, as they began to wander somewhat hesitantly toward the receiving of laws and guidelines that would help them to live life as good Jews and good human beings.

This weekend we also read from the beginning of the Book of Numbers, where we learn of the first census recorded in the Torah, and the important idea that all people count. It is not coincidence that we celebrate the Torah portion of counting on the weekend that we conclude our literal counting of days. As an ancient people, we have learned to both count our days, and time, but also to count people.

My son was studying for a Social Studies test this week, and we were reviewing the history of Athens and the first ideas of democracy. The people of Athens, and the historians after, took great pride in the idea that every person's voice finally counted (at least as they understood 'every person' in those days).  And once again in our Jewish history, we are reminded that 'every voice counts'. We have heard many stories on the news recently where we are reminded that we need to use our voices to count. 

Whether we are counting days toward a significant event or counting people in our community and in our world, our voices matter. 

Be counted, and keep counting. 

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach,
Hope to see you over Shabbat and the Holiday Celebration,
Rabbi Bravo

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​Parashat Emor- Telling our Stories

5/19/2016

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This week we read the portion of Emor from the book of Leviticus.   This parasha (Torah portion) continues the discussion from the last week's parasha and offers more rules and insights about Kedusha - Holiness.

Emor is Hebrew for the imperative form of 'tell' .  As we sit down to our Shabbat tables, or as we go about our lives for the coming week, what are we to tell one another? What will you be sharing about yourself? What will you tell a loved one or a dear friend?

Much of Emor discusses holidays that are well known to us: Yom Kippur, Shavuot, Succot, Pesach, Shabbat.   While some  of the focus is on the ritual, the main theme is about the sanctity of time.  How do we sanctify time?  The Rabbis have said that in order to sanctify time, meaning to make it holy, one must understand how precious time is, especially time with those you love.  Spending time to build and nurture relationships with those we love is one way we sanctify time, as God wants us to do.

One of the many ways we spend precious time with one another is at our Shabbat dinners. This evening over 20 individuals of all ages and stages are joining together at Rabbi Bravo's home to share Shabbat, to tell stories and simply find meaning in ancient ritual.  Please, join us for one of our upcoming Shabbat dinners. More information can be found HERE.

May you have a joyous, healthy Shabbat filled with much "emor".
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bravo and Sherry Gutes


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​Parashat Kedoshim - Finding Holiness in Little Places              The "Makom" in Israel 

5/12/2016

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This week we read the portion of Kedoshim. It is one of my absolute favorite Torah portions. It talks about the meaning and understanding of holiness and the Holiness Code in Jewish tradition. Within this portion are both directives for how Jews should be holy, but more importantly, how human beings should be holy.

I often describe holiness to children as a difficult term to define, and so I explain that it is best to define holiness by looking at holy acts, holy places, and people who act in holy ways.  This is no different for adults. In this crazy world of politics, economics, religion and the like, we need to seek out holy moments; we need to strive to create holy moments.

A few months ago, I had the pleasure to travel to Israel and see a side of Israel that I had never experienced.  I learned all about an organization called Makom, an umbrella organization in Israel that is comprised of 14 networks of new intentional communities across the State of Israel. They represent all sides of politics and religion within Israel, which is a very large spectrum.

I learned that in order for each of these networks to be part of Makom, the individual communities within the network need to be geographically diverse, they need to be geared toward people in multiple stages of life, and most interesting to me, they need to be mission driven. This means in addition to meeting the needs of the members of their own community, they also need to be working in an intentional and sacred way to help the greater Israeli society within their neighborhood.  

I was so taken with this level of holiness in each of these communities. I observed communities striving to improve and overhaul education systems, communities supporting the cultural arts, communities helping Teens at Risk, communities supporting the LGBTQ community, communities supporting new immigrants, and so much more.

As we celebrate the 68th Birthday of the State of Israel this week, I want to suggest that we focus on the acts of kedushah happening within the smallest corners of the State of Israel each and every day.  It is not coincidence that we read the Torah portion of Kedoshim this week - it is b'shert, or meant to be that we should celebrate Israel and celebrate holiness all in one week.  They two rightly go hand in hand. 

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Birthday Israel - 
May you forever be leading the path in acts of holiness,
Rabbi Bravo

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Parashat Metzorah: Ridding Ourselves from Disease

4/14/2016

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This week we read the portion of Metzorah, which is often in partnership with last week’s Torah portion, Tazria. Of all the Torah portions we read, this is one of the more challenging sections of text.  However, there are some deep and rather applicable lessons from these passages that are so relevant to our lives today.
 
The quick summary of this section of Leviticus is that anyone who has contracted tzara’at, often translated as leprosy (though there is some question if that actually may be referring to another disease) is considered impure, and must be purified. The text continues to share that tzara’at might be applicable for more than simply a person – a home can be afflicted with tzara’at as well. 
 
Though many of us find the requirement to purify one’s self (and one’s home) after a disease rather distasteful, perhaps the deeper discussion is required to find some modern day relevance in our text. If we understand the disease to be figurative, and not literal, then perhaps we can understand that actions, words, places and people that do not allow us to be at our best need to be rid from our lives, so that we can be holier.
 
The purpose of cleansing one’s self after being inflicted with tzara’at is ultimately to strive for a higher level of holiness.  I would suggest that our text pushes us to seek, internalize and process that which is causing us to be unhealthy, and to determine how to rid that “disease” from our lives.
 
As we are busily preparing for Passover, it is a wonderful time to do physical spring cleaning; it is also a perfect time to do a spiritual cleansing. When we sit around our Passover tables, may we feel a sense of renewed freedom, freedom from slavery in Egypt and freedom from that which plagues us today.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bravo

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    Rabbi Deborah Bravo

    As a rabbi, woman, wife, mother, teacher, leader and Jew, my voice takes on many different characteristics, depending on the moment, the events in society and in our world.  Read, comment, share and converse as we continue to build bridges, make connections and find sunshine in our days.

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