Dear Friends,

As we enter the Thanksgiving weekend, I imagine many of your hearts are feeling torn with the national events this past week, as is mine.  Even as our kitchens smell delicious with breads and turkeys and pies; even as our families are en route to joining us, or we them, to celebrate the holiday together; even as we gather in our warm homes on this snowy and damp day; many in our world are not in such a place of peace and comfort.

I hope and pray over this Thanksgiving week, we are able to take a few moments to truly offer words of thanksgiving for all that we do have in life: for food and housing, for family and friends, for peace and security.  I hope and pray as well that we take a few moments this week to pray for equality of all people in a land that was established to be the home of the free and brave, a land intended for freedoms of all kinds for all people.

As I shared with our religious school students yesterday, as Jews, we have an obligation to care about those who are being mistreated in our lands, for we know all too well the shoes in which they walk.  Though I was not personally witness to the events in Ferguson, Missouri, I am reminded once again that there is still work to be done - ours is far from a perfect world.  As we gather this week, let us engage in conversation about what we might do to l'takein et ha-olam, to repair this world, even the slightest bit, even as we live comfortably in our communities.  Our students suggested we remember never to judge people by our looks or where we live; that we must treat one another with honor and respect and dignity, always.

So yes, we have much to celebrate, but let us also take the time to be thankful and appreciative.  May this be a week that fills our souls and hearts, and not just our stomachs.  May we be sure to give back, even as we take, and shop, and eat.  And may we pause at least for a moment, to say thank you to our God, who has given us great gifts, each and every day.  

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, ha-tov shimcha u'lcha na-eh l'hodot.  

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, 
Your name is Goodness, and You are worthy of Thanksgiving.

Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

In Pirke Avot 4:2, we learn that one good deed has the potential to cause more good deeds.  I would like to share the mitzvah that my daughter Sophie, now 8, has been doing for the past three years.  I share this not only because I am proud of her and her friends, but more importantly, because she and I discussed the potential quantity of mitzvot this could bring to the world if others choose to engage in mitzvot as well.

While preparing for Sophie’s 6th birthday, our home was on the market and we had recently emptied it out in order to show it.  I realized, in contemplation of Sophie’s birthday party, that we would get inundated with a bunch of gifts, most of which Sophie would open, play with once, and then leave somewhere in our now neat and empty home. 

So I approached Sophie about the idea of getting a few nice gifts from immediate family and close family friends, but perhaps asking her girlfriends who would be attending her party to bring gifts for donation.  Somewhat to my surprise, Sophie thought this was a great idea.  We discussed together what Sophie might want to do for this mitzvah project.  She was well aware that in my congregation at the time, there was a food pantry.  Many people came to the Temple regularly for food, but they still needed help to purchase fruits, vegetables, meats and dairy. 

So, in her birthday party invitation, we invited people to bring gift cards for grocery stores, as well as canned food, all of which would be donated to the synagogue’s food pantry.  Sophie came with me to the Temple one day and presented the Temple administrator with a box of gift cards.  The gift cards were kept in the Temple office, so when people came for food, we could offer them even a little bit more.  To our surprise, we raised over $400 in gift cards that year, in addition to the bags and bags of food we added to the pantry’s shelves.  People were so generous; they gave much more than they would have for a simple six-year-old birthday gift, which was fantastic.  

So when Sophie’s 7th birthday came around, and I asked her if she wanted to do another mitzvah instead of receiving gifts from her friends, she immediately said yes, and she was excited to do so.  We had since moved to Long Island, so we needed to do some research as to where she wanted to make a donation.  She chose to help people at a nearby shelter.  We reached out to the shelter, asked them what kind of donations would be most helpful, and we were set.  This time, we asked Sophie’s friends to bring gift cards to local grocery stores, drug stores, all-purpose stores and gas stations, in lieu of presents.  

Once again, people were most generous, and we collected nearly $400 in gift cards.  Sophie wanted to come with me to the shelter, to see what it was like and personally deliver her box of gift cards.  The volunteer coordinator at the INN (Interfaith Nutrition Network) was fantastic.  She took Sophie and I on a tour of their facilities, and gave Sophie all kinds of information about what the INN does for the community.  She even sent Sophie her first official thank you note for the donations, which Sophie proudly shared with many.

This year, as Sophie turned 8, it was not a question as to whether or not she would donate for her birthday, but simply which organization would be the recipient of the donations.  She chose to donate games, toys and more to the local Children’s Hospital.  We collected two large bins of appropriate toys for boys and girls who might be in the hospital, and just yesterday, we delivered these bins.  (We waited several months after the birthday party, because Sophie wanted to deliver them personally, and several of her friends really wanted to join her.)  She and her friend proudly carried the bins of toys into the hospital.  Though they could barely walk with these large tubs, they were quite proud of what they had accomplished.

I am certain that Sophie will continue to do Birthday Mitzvot each and every year, but she and I discussed how incredible it would be if others might do the same.  Imagine how many food pantries could receive more donations; how many shelters might get extra help; how many hospitals might have a few more happy children.  Most importantly, imagine how many boys and girls, men and women, might feel good about what they have done to help others who are less fortunate, and to make the world a slightly better place.

Sophie and I invite you to the mitzvah challenge: mitzvah goreret mitzvah – one mitzvah truly has the potential to cause another mitzvah, so share your mitzvah with others, and spread the desire to give.

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

As we are about to begin the celebration of the Festival of Sukkot, we have many tasks at hand.  We are commanded to build a sukkah, just after the completion of Yom Kippur.  We are supposed to gather a lulav and etrog, and prepare for z’man simchateinu, our celebratory time.  The lulav, representing the palm, myrtle and willow branches, along with the etrog, the citrus fruit specifically grown for Sukkot, are considered the four species, and we are commanded to use these four species to rejoice with our God.

During Sukkot, as is true with all Jewish festivals, we are reminded both of our connection to an event in Jewish history, as well as a connection with our land.

Throughout this week, we remember wandering through the desert for forty years, living in temporary structures called booths, or sukkot.  Sukkot is also a harvest festival agriculturally speaking, and is sometimes called Chag Haasif, the Festival of the Ingathering.

In addition, the Holiday of Sukkot is meant to be a time to celebrate with family and friends and invite them into our sukkot.  We are told to invite guests and to do hachnasat orchim, welcoming the stranger.  The Kabbalists, or Jewish mystics, created the custom of inviting seven biblical guests into our sukkot.  Traditionally, we invite Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Aaron and David.  Each night, one of these “guests” is considered the honored guest of the day, called ushphizin. 

Today, we not only invite our traditional biblical guests, but we invite guests from all ages; those who were famous and those who might only be known to each of us.  Annually, we have the opportunity to determine whom we choose to invite into our sukkah.  Perhaps we invite someone famous we have always wanted to meet.  Perhaps we invite someone with whom we need to make repairs, in light of the High Holy Day season that has just passed.  Perhaps we choose to invite someone from our family who has died, but with whom we choose to visit or converse. 

Here are my invited ushpizin for this year:

1.  Our Patriarch Moses. I choose to invite Moses into our sukkah.  I see Moses as a wanderer, who knew, ultimately, that he was leading the Jewish people to the Promised Land, but was not always sure of his path or journey.  He even knew toward the end of this life that he would not taste the Promised Land, but still needed to be a leader and fulfill his destiny.  I have so many questions I would ask Moses.  What was it like to be a leader of such a great people?  How did he manage the fact that he would not enter the Promised Land?  To what extent did he feel his journey was influenced by the good and bad around him, and not just by his own thoughts and determination?

3.  My mother-in-law Sylvia Bravo z”l.  I met my husband David one year after his mother died from cancer.  I have heard stories and seen pictures of her; our son Samuel is named for her.  But there is so much I would love to know: how do Sam and Sophie resemble their father from when he was young? What was life like for her when she was growing up?  How did her family’s journey to South Africa influence her life and raising her children?


Who are your ushpizin whom you would like to invite into your sukkah?  Why? What questions would you ask?  Why those guests during this particular year?

Let us all celebrate the Festival of Sukkot with great strength, and great imagination.  And may our guests enjoy their visits!

Chag Sameach!
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, I have shared daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts have inspired each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

For my final message of the year 5774, I wanted to share some personal thoughts as I enter into this New Year.  I have heard from many of you how much you have enjoyed receiving these blogs this month.  I want to thank a few key friends and colleagues who encouraged me to write and to share my voice. 

Many of you have asked how I could find so many different things to share.  I would challenge each of you, in this New Year, to find a way to use your own voice, as I have rediscovered mine.  If you are interested in blogging, let me know.  We are happy to have guest bloggers at any time, and our audience would appreciate hearing from different voices on differing topics.

I would also love to hear from you reflections or thoughts on individual posts or topics from the month of Elul.  In my mind, blogging is meant not simply to be a one-way conversation, but an opportunity to begin a dialogue.  As we begin the journey of 5775 together, let it be a year filled with heart-to-heart connecting and sharing.

Many of you know that for me, this year will be one of self-reflection and evaluation.  As I determine the next phase of my journey in life, I hope to do so while living every day to its fullest, surrounded by great family and wonderful friends, colleagues and community members.  I look forward to sharing with you in this New Year.

As impersonal and indirect as it may be, I wish to say to all friends, family, colleagues, co-workers and readers, that for anything I may have done to hurt you in this past year, either directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally, I am truly sorry.  I am certain I will still make mistakes as we enter into this New Year, for I am only human, but I will strive not to make the same mistakes I made in this past year.

Finally, I wish to give a special thanks to my husband David, our 10-year-old son Sam and 8-year-old daughter Sophie, who have been incredibly patient (most of the time) during this month of Elul, as I have blogged each day, in addition to the sermons, services and other work I needed to accomplish during this time.  They traveled this journey with me, and the month of Elul has included unpacking from camp, a trip to South Africa, the beginning of 5th and 3rd grades, Hebrew school, a new art class, a new soccer team, swim tryouts, a new skating class, and so much more.  Despite the chaos, each of those events and the responses and feelings of my family, as well as others, have influenced the words that poured out of me throughout this month.  So I simply say... thank you.

L’shanah Tovah.  May you have a sweet, happy and healthy New Year!
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

So for one final time this year,
let the sound of the shofar be heard;
And let our souls be awakened!

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, I will be sharing daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts inspire each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

In Hebrew, there is a system of letters counting as numbers, called Gematria.  An aleph stands for 1, a bet for two, and so forth.  Tonight begins the 28th day of the month of Elul, otherwise known as kaf, chet (20+8).  The Hebrew word kaf-chet is koach, or strength.  (This is a typical way of coordinating certain numbers with words.)

How fitting that two days before Rosh Hashanah we are focusing on strength.  It is not easy to enter into a New Year as our text teaches, with focus, consideration and observation.  Neither is it easy to do teshuvah, repentance, or slichah, forgiveness. 

And yet, we are commanded to do both, and so we ask for strength, today and in this New Year.  It takes koach, strength, to reach deep down into our souls, to share intimate thoughts and concerns, to apologize and to accept apology.  Sometimes, asking for strength allows us to realize the strength that exists within us, that we never knew we had.

I remember being a child, perhaps a teenager, when there was a huge storm that flooded the local damns and rivers.  Our neighborhood growing up was a few blocks from a small lake, and though we experienced a mere four feet of water in our basement, for many it was much worse.  A close family friend, who lived on the cul-de-sac backing up to the lake, had water heading up to her second level of the house.  One could only get to her home and the homes around her by boat, for the streets were that badly flooded.  She was divorced, living in the home with her two girls, and was about five feet tall.

I am not sure how, but she hoisted her living room couch, which had value to her, and carried it upstairs to her bedroom.  I am certain she did not have any idea the kind of strength that was within her, nor has she necessarily seen that strength again, but in the moment when she needed it most, she exerted great strength. 

We all have a strength within us far beyond what we realize.  The strength to do right; the strength to see beyond ourselves; the physical strength to help and do what is necessary in crucial and pivotal times. 

During these upcoming Days of Awe,
May we have the strength to look inward.
May we have the strength to listen, and to be heard.
May we have the strength to do teshuvah, to repent.
May we have the strength to ask for forgiveness,
And forgive others.

L'shanah Tovah,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo


Now let the sound of the shofar be heard;
And let our souls be awakened!

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, I will be sharing daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts inspire each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

Tonight begins the 27th day of Elul, only three days until Erev Rosh Hashanah. So it is time for us to allow the many themes of this month to lead us on a path of teshuvah, of repentance, and through repentance, perhaps we will find a sense of renewal and revival. 

I remember, a few years ago, that I had been out of touch with two dear friends.  During the month of Elul, perhaps because it was the month of Elul, I reached out to each one of them.  Though my emails were not filled with the classic terminology around teshuvah, that of asking forgiveness and repent, I did apologize for the lack of connection and communication that had occurred for many months. 

One friend saw this as an opportunity to rekindle our friendship, and it started a regular flow of emails and phone calls, as if no time had passed.  Now, even though we may not speak for months, we do not ever hesitate any more to be in touch with one another, because we acknowledged verbally the awkward pain of no communication for too long.

The other of these friends returned my email with a heart felt email of pain and challenge that she had been experiencing in life.  She was sorry as well, in her own way, that we had not been in touch.  I will forever treasure that correspondence for it was our last meaningful one.  Just a few months later, she died very quickly and far too young, and I knew that God’s light had encouraged me to reach out during that particular month of Elul, to mend a bridge that needed repair.

Sometimes all we need to do to make teshuvah is to simply reach out; to show we care.  Other times, we need to work a bit harder to ask forgiveness, and to repent.  We are taught that there are two kinds of repentance: repentance between human beings, and repentance between ourselves and our God. 

As the New Year is almost upon us, let us begin to truly make teshuvah.  The first time you either ask for or receive teshuvah, it may feel awkward or strange.  But there is something so powerful about the process of teshuvah, both for one who is seeking the teshuvah, and the one who might be receiving it as well.

As we hear the hundred blasts of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, let our souls be awakened, and let it be a call for us to truly begin, if we have not already done so, the real process of teshuvah.

Shanah Tovah,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

Now let the sound of the shofar be heard!

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, I will be sharing daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts inspire each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

Shavua Tov!  As we join together for Selichot this evening, we strongly and intentionally turn our thoughts and contemplations to that of forgiveness.  Selichot is a service held the Saturday night prior to Rosh Hashanah (or the week prior if that provides less than four days of reflection until the New Year).  During this service, we begin to hear the melodies of the High Holy Days, share in some of the traditional High Holy Day liturgy, and change our Torah covers to white, for the pureness and holiness of the Holy Days. 

Most importantly, we begin reciting prayers of selichah, or forgiveness.  As we end the final Shabbat of 5774, we reflect on this past year, and begin to concretely determine how we must ask for forgiveness as we enter the New Year.  We offer the words of the traditional confessional:

            Our God and God of our ancestors,
            May our prayers come before You
            And may You not ignore our pleas.
            We are neither so arrogant nor so stubborn
            As to declare that we are righteous and have not sinned:
            For indeed, we have sinned.

Forgiveness cannot take place without an inward realization of the wrong that has been done, an ownership of these actions or words or thoughts, and an attempt to make this right during this next year.  Sometimes we need to ask forgiveness of ourselves, for what we did not accomplish or complete in this past year.  Sometimes we ask forgiveness from our closest loved ones and friends, for small and large things we may have done or said.  Sometimes we ask forgiveness from those we don’t know well, but whom we hurt and need to ask forgiveness in order to move forward into this New Year with a whole heart.  Sometimes there are those whom we have hurt and we are oblivious to this, and therefore need to ask a general forgiveness from those we may have hurt, even if we are unaware.

The heart of the prayers we offer known as selichot is based on two verses from the Torah, known as the Thirteen Attributes of God: Adonai, Adonai, God of compassion, gracious, endlessly patient, loving and true, showing mercy to the thousandth generation, forgiving evil, defiance and wrongdoing, granting pardon (Exodus 34:6-7).   We understand that every time we as a people have missed the mark, we have erred, we should reflect on this passage, and know that God will forgive us.  If our God can forgive us, then we, too, should forgive ourselves and others.

May this be a year of forgiveness.
May we know how to ask, and may we learn how to receive.
And may it be soon.

L'shanah Tovah,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

Now let the sound of the shofar be heard;
And let our souls be awakened!

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, I will be sharing daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts inspire each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

I am not certain as to why we struggle so much with prayer.  In Jewish tradition, prayer is meant to be a concrete way for us to communicate with our God.  We all know that our relationship with God began through sacrifice, offering various animal sacrifices at the Temple mount, as a way to thank and praise God.  Certain sacrifices were offered at special times of the year, and there were daily sacrifices offered, as detailed in the Book of Leviticus.

When the Temple was destroyed, the Rabbis created prayer as an alternate way to converse, thank and praise God.  Though we often find it easier or more comfortable to pray to God in the sanctuary of our synagogue, we can actually pray in any place, outside, in God’s creations, or in the sanctuary, before the Holy Ark.  Though our tradition dictates three specific times daily to pray, we can offer prayers to God at any time of the day.  Our rabbis gave us structure around prayer, and provided us with formulas to enhance our prayer, but prayer can be any words, formulated in any way, said in any language. 

My experience teaches me that children are often most open to prayer.  Their immature and underdeveloped minds allow them to think beyond the real and the tangible.  Prayer does not come easily for most of us.  Sometimes, it is helpful to be in a quiet, beautiful setting, one where perhaps God’s mystery and majesty is better understood.  Sometimes, it is helpful to be among others who are praying, so we may be guided by the rhythms of their prayer.  Sometimes the prayerbook is helpful, giving us tools and language.  Sometimes the prayerbook is prohibitive, preventing us from finding the words within our hearts.

All of our tots and religious school students can tell you that my favorite time of the service is the silent prayer.  It allows me to pray in the moment, about that which I find most important on any given day, at any given time.  However, I often begin that silent prayer with a fixed prayer, Baruch Ata Adonai..., or Praised are You, O God....  These structures simply start the sentences, to which I need to fill in the blanks. 

One of my favorite readings about prayer can be found 
just before the Amidah in our Mishkan T’filah Prayerbook. 

            In an envelope marked:
                        Personal
            God addressed me a letter.
            In an envelope marked:
                        Personal
            I have given my answer.

Prayer exists only as a give and take between ourselves and our God.  It is personal; it is sacred; it is relational.  May we allow ourselves to pray, for only then, might our prayers be heard... and perhaps answered.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

Now let the sound of the shofar be heard;
And let our souls be awakened!

Relationships: A Rabbi’s Thoughts for Elul 24

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, I will be sharing daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts inspire each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

In life, we create so many different relationships.  Each one exists at a different level and for a different purpose.  Some of our relationships are intimate, with a partner or spouse.  Some relationships are friendships, searching for connection and depth.  Others are more casual with work colleagues or neighbors or your children’s friend’s parents. 

Each of these relationships exists for a different purpose.  A relationship with a partner or spouse is one that is intimate, with a goal of sharing life and life’s journey together.  Friendships allow us to share life but in a different way, perhaps only experiencing pieces of that journey together.  Relationships with work colleagues and others are for a particular purpose at a particular time in life, often not moving beyond that basic need at that moment in time.

I recently officiated at a funeral for a lovely, warm, caring woman, as described by her family.  They shared with us at the funeral how she would create a relationship with random individuals with whom she came in contact.  She knew enough about the postman or the UPS delivery man or the shop owners in the stores she frequented to ask them about their families, by name, their lives and their days.

Upon hearing this story, it pushed me to contemplate if perhaps we are sometimes so busy in our daily lives that we do not make an effort to deepen our relationships, the ones that exist already, instead of seeking so many new and not meaningful relationships.

Perhaps we should, during this month of Elul, use this as an opportunity to learn a little more about the people with whom we interact on a regular basis.  I recently heard a story from a woman whom I have known for several years that was so emotional and moving, and I had no idea she owned such a fascinating story as a part of her personal journey.  I wonder how many other stories I don’t know that might impact me, as well as my relationship with my relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues and acquaintances. 

As we venture into 5755, perhaps we will stop to inquire of others questions and observations that allow a greater depth to an already existing relationship.  When we see each other, we commonly ask one another “how are you?”  Most of the time, we don’t actually want to know.  We simply ask the question as a common courtesy.  And yet, if we looked occasionally at the person’s face, heard their voice, we would know that something was bothering them, or hurting them.

The next time we inquire as to someone’s well being, even as we see people on the High Holy Days for the first time in awhile, let us truly stand still for a moment, listen to the response, and allow a deeper relationship to exist.

Now let the sound of the shofar be heard;
And let our souls be awakened!


Shalom,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo

By Rabbi Deborah K. Bravo

Throughout the month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, I will be sharing daily reflections to help each of us prepare for the upcoming High Holy Day Season.  I hope these thoughts inspire each of us to make time, find the energy and initiate some passion as we reflect and examine this past year, in preparation for the year to come.

This summer, while on faculty at the URJ Crane Lake Camp, one of the middot, or Jewish virtues that we studied with our campers was that of humility, or anavah.  Teaching humility to children was no easy task.  So many questions were asked.  How does one explain humility?  Can one be humble and still have self-esteem?  Is humility a good thing?  Can one be humble and have humility without appearing weak and wimpy?

All good questions as we prepared to teach these children.  And yet, the questions are really no different when we confront the idea of humility as adults as well.  What does it mean to have humility and why is it a Jewish virtue?  How might I balance humility with joy or happiness?  Can I find room in my daily way of life to have humility and not lose my voice or my vision?

I believe we can and should all bring a balance of humility to our lives.  I think the mere fact that we are all created b’tzelem Elohim, in God’s image, should bring us a sense of humility.  If we know that God, however we might picture God, has made mistakes and has fixed things, then should we not think the same is necessary for ourselves?

I like and appreciate the dictionary definition of humility, which states that it is a modest or low view of one’s own importance.  This simply explains to all that we should never overstate our significance, for there will always be someone who is smarter, someone who is more talented, someone who can do the work better.  This does not negate our desire to try to do things to the best of our capability.  Quite the opposite.  It should motivate us to do things to the best of our ability, but realizing we should not boast or be so full of ourselves so as to think we are better than all the rest.

Though I enjoy that definition, I do not like the synonyms often used for humility.  They often include meekness, unassertiveness, lack of pride and submissiveness.  I don’t believe when we consider humility a Jewish virtue that we understand in such a manner. 

Humility is caring enough for other human beings
to respect each individual’s place in the world, regardless of our own. 

Humility is knowing when to help a friend
Without them ever hearing our voice.

Humility is respecting the teacher
Even if we think we can do it better.

May this year allow for some humility in our actions.
May this year allow for some humility in our words.

Now let the sound of the shofar be heard;
And let our souls be awakened!



Shalom,
Rabbi Debbie Bravo